Tuesday, July 7, 2009

August 2, 2009 - finally, an update




Listen, Bucko....get your own cake!

1st birthday


At the beach with Mommy








Well, at long last I have succumbed to pressure and am updating Erin's blog. It's not for lack of motivation (or prompting by a number of regular readers!). It is simply hard to find the time to sit down and organize my thoughts with all that has happened. Since the last update, we have celebrated Erin's 1st birthday, and this past Friday we celebrated the one year anniversary of bringing her home from the hospital.

Last night, Sheila and I sat at the kitchen table over a bottle of wine and shared memories of those first few days at home with Erin. We laughed about bringing her home and our first gaffe as parents. We brought her in the house and elected to not wake her by removing her from her car seat, so we set her on the family room floor to sleep and wake on her own. Ten minutes later, we were both in the master bathroom when we turned and looked at each other in horror as we simultaneously realized that it had taken us only a few minutes to forget about Erin and leave her alone in the family room, three floors down. We flew down the stairs to find her sound asleep, oblivious of what incompetent parents she had inherited. I remember thinking that we were incapable of raising this child if we couldn't even remember to watch over her in the first ten minutes of her being home. Needless to say, it never happened again.

The first few nights were very stressful. I can remember waking what seemed like every fifteen minutes to see if she was still breathing. It felt like we were walking on egg shells with her being so fragile and her health still so questionable. It seems like another lifetime ago.

Today, it is hard to remember what life was like before Erin. It seems like she has always been with us. At times, we do reminisce about our ability to pick up and go on a moments notice, and how we rarely spent consecutive weekends at home. Traveling around the world and enjoying life seemed like the height of living. Then we take a look at Erin and realize that however fun that lifestyle sounds, nothing comes close to having this precious little one in our lives and that we wouldn't trade one minute of it for anything else.

She has developed from a little blob that did nothing but lie there and occasionally look at you, to a toddler with a huge personality. She has distinct likes and dislikes, opinions, and a willingness to let you know exactly what she is thinking and feeling (wonder where she gets that from?). She is perpetually happy, outgoing, and curious about anything and everything. Favorite activities include turning on and off the first floor lights from the Crestron controller, a source of never ending delight. Opening a drawer and pulling out the contents one by one to deposit on the floor is one of life's great joys at 13 months. Dancing with her shadow in wonder and amazement as it moves in perfect syncopation is another fun activity. She has a corner that she likes to crawl into, underneath a table, where she can sit on her boppy away from everyone and "read" a book. From time to time, she comes out to get another book to drag back there.

She is changing too fast. I was on the west coast most of this week, and even in five days I can see changes in her. Since I left, she has decided that she likes giving kisses, and gives them willingly now whereas previously they were rationed out only on rare occasions as an accommodation. Every day seems to bring more expression of her thoughts and feelings. She has mastered the look of complete disdain when she disagrees with something. I am sure I will get to know that look quite well.

There is so much information to share since the last time I updated this blog. A month or so ago, we had an appointment with Erin's cardiologist, Dr. Jeff Gossett. It included an echo cardiogram, which surprisingly Erin endured. I say surprisingly because it required her to lie quietly for 45 minutes or so, and staying inactive and still is not something that this child understands or accepts. Sheila did an amazing job by lying on the bed with Erin and soothing her, and she allowed the technician to do his job in getting the desired readings. Jeff was a little disappointed that Erin's blood oxygen sat levels weren't higher (they are typically high 80's), so that was disappointing. He elected to continue her on her three times per day Viagra routine, but has cut out all other medicines. We were hoping that she would be doing well enough to discontinue the Viagra but it wasn't to be. It is sobering to discuss future surgical procedures as she seems to be the picture of health and happiness. Looking at her, you forget about her challenges and see only this amazing child who is off the charts in terms of her development, intelligence, and curiosity about life. And yet, there is a grossly malformed heart beating in her little chest that continues to outperform any medical explanation for now, and will require fixing at some point in the future. It continues to be a wait and see game. As long as she continues growing and developing, we get to wait. The moments when we discuss the realities of her future with Jeff are very depressing to me. It's like running into a brick wall.

The truly good news is on the neurological front. We have been worried about how the stroke would manifest itself. She recently saw the head neurologist at Children's, and he was thrilled with how well she is doing. She exhibits almost no signs of the stroke, other than a tendency at times to keep her right hand clenched and close to her body. She tends to favor her left hand, yet has complete usage and dexterity with her right. We work with her on this, and she is slowly getting over the tendency to always reach with the left. Her early intervention professional Allison saw her a few weeks ago and she too was thrilled with Erin's progress, and stated that there seemed to be nothing impacting Erin physically, at least yet. We aren't out of the danger zone yet, but she seems to be overcoming a very serious stroke with little or no residue and so we continue to hope for the best.

As always, I can't say enough about Children's Memorial or the wonderful people who work there. Everyone in the cardiology clinic seems to know Erin and a visit there prompts a steady stream of nurses to come by her room with well wishes and wanting to see how she is doing. I have gone on the board at the hospital, and have the opportunity to see the organization from a different perspective, which only accentuates my admiration and respect for the dedication and performance of the staff.

As I write this early on a Sunday morning, I hear Erin on the monitor as she begins to stir. We have an camera trained on her crib in both homes that illuminates the picture as if it were daylight, and I can watch her movements as she sleeps. She is the picture of tranquility. Sometimes we sit and just watch her sleep. She has the strange habit of sleeping on her knees, with her butt in the air and her hands underneath her. It is comical to watch. Even better is when she is trying to fall asleep, which involves a series of movements where she bounces all over the crib. She plays with her bear, cruises from one end to the other, samples all three of her Binkies, and lies there kicking her feet. Other times she is content to lie on her back and talk or sing to herself in a language only she can understand. It is a show like nothing else on TV.

I hear her talking. It's time to go and start her day. We will play in the crib, examine each Binky in great depth, and look out the window to see who is walking by, hopefully with a dog. How great is that?

Erin's daily routine is pretty set. She wakes between 6:30 and 7:30. I come home from the gym about the time she wakes up, and often am the one to get her out of bed. After having her formula and changing her diaper, she spends the first 30 - 45 minutes in bed with us. I don't get to work very early anymore, but it is a small price to pay to get that time with her. She is talkative, playful, and so happy to be with both of us. We also spend a good amount of that time with her sitting in my lap in my office, listening to her music. She loves "This Old Man" and "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round." She starts wiggling and swaying the minute she hears any music, and loves to dance. When one of her favorites comes on, she gets a big smile on her face, and dances along. One song is like the twelve days of Christmas, only the twelve days of animals. When they get to the part of the chorus that mentions the duck, she makes a quacking noise that she has learned to associate any time she hears mention of or sees a duck. The downside to her love of music is that all day long I have kids songs playing on the mental iPod player in my head. I sometimes realize I have been humming the theme song from the Mickey Mouse Club for the last hour.

The other fun morning activity (for her) is the phone. She loves playing with the phone, and the highlight is to keep the phone off the hook long enough for the emergency beeping to begin, letting you know that your phone is off the hook and needs to be hung up. She gets a huge smile on her face, starts dancing to the beats and after listening for a few seconds, reaches over and depresses the phone switch to start the process all over again. She never tires of playing with the phone. She has an old Blackberry that she loves to talk into. She talks into it, then hands it to you to talk. This goes on over and over and over. She seems to love the idea that she can carry on a conversation on the phone like an adult. Given how little I like talking on the phone, she must get this from her mother.

Around 8:30, she eats breakfast. She is a big eater of regular food, and has become much better about taking her formula as well. She loves to try new things, although she is initially very cautious about smelling and closely examining anything new before she puts it in her mouth. She prefers to feed herself, and loves nothing more than smearing whatever she is eating all over herself and you too if she can get close enough. She sits in her highchair, slowly eating and talking and singing to herself throughout a meal which can often take 30 minutes. I guess she is in no hurry to be anywhere.

After breakfast is playtime until 9 or 9:30, when she goes down for a nap. If it is a Monday or Thursday when our housekeeper Helen is there, playtime involves Erin's strange fascination with Helen. Those two have a mutual love for each other, and it is interesting to watch just how taken Erin is with Helen, and with the vacuum cleaner. I can't stand to be in the same house as a running vacuum cleaner, while Erin adores it.

Erin typically sleeps for a couple of hours in the morning, and up to two hours in the afternoon. In between is more playing and lunch. Dinner is around 5:30, and we usually take her for a walk after dinner. We love walking through our neighborhood. It is filled with people and things to look at, especially large dogs. Erin gets so excited when she sees a dog, which she calls Ba-Ba (her way of saying bow wow?). We have a great park at the end of our block which is filled with children of all ages, including a number Erin's age. The park is usually packed with kids and parents playing on the equipment. I used to drive by the park every day and wonder if it got tiring going there day after day. I now know the answer - it does not. We make new friends, see lots of ba-ba's, and push Erin in the swing, something she never tires of. How lucky to have this park.

Sometimes we go for a walk with the stroller, other times she walks between us, holding a hand on each side. At times, when she thinks we aren't looking, we catch her looking up at us, taking turns looking at each of us with the biggest smile on her face. It's a look of joy and happiness, and one that we echo completely. She seems truly happy at all times. So are we.

The other nightly activity is sitting on the floor of the family room playing, which often involves reading a couple of books. Erin will go over to her book bin, pull out a favorite (often "Blanky" or "Binky") and bring it over to me to read while she climbs into my lap. She loves to turn the pages, and goes back over and over to favorite pages. When done with the book, she goes and gets another and we repeat the process. When being read to, she has a big smile on her face and continually looks up at me as if to let me know how happy it makes her to be doing this.

Bedtime is around 7:30. We take turns putting her to bed. Erin's favorite activity is having her teeth brushed, which Sheila has coined "brushy-brushy." Erin gets a huge smile on her face when you mention the phrase, and looks to her bathroom in anticipation. She takes her last formula of the day, and after reading a few books, she goes to sleep. She has become a pro at going to sleep. She rarely cries when we put her down for the night or a nap, and if she does it is for only a few seconds. If she has difficulty falling asleep, she talks to herself rather than cry.

Erin talks incessantly. She is a non-stop babbler, going on and on while interacting with you. In addition to nonsensical baby talk, she is slowly gaining a vocabulary. In addition to Ba-Ba, she also has down bye-bye, night night, Da-da,and the favorite "I pooped!" We still can't get her to say Mama, though.

I want to do a better job of updating the blog, for the purposes of documenting Erin's life for her (and for us) over the years. I think it will be valuable to her at some point to have an understanding of what her life was like, during the years that she will retain little memory of. I want to make sure I document days like today...nothing out of the ordinary. It's the ordinary days that I want to remember best.



We spent this morning like every other morning, playing in Mommy and Daddy's bed. We had breakfast, then we walked over to Starbucks. Erin climbed onto the table and sat there, content to suck on her sippy cub and amuse herself by reaching into the bag containing her treats and pulling them out one by one to eat. When she grabs one successfully, she gives a little laugh that sounds like a sinister "I just got away with something I am not supposed to laugh." She shared my scone and my smoothie with me, happily sucking on the straw. We did what we do every single day...we laughed and laughed. It's pretty good.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Update - May 21, 2009




















Amazing how time flies. In one week, Erin will be 11 months old. Sheila and I find it hard to think about a time when we didn't have her. The last year has been filled with so many ups and downs, with some of the highest highs and lowest lows either of us has ever experienced (not all related to Erin), but the one constant throughout all of that has been the incredible joy that Erin brings to our lives every single day.

As I write this, we are in Scottsdale where we have been for last week. We continue to have a scorpion problem, although thankfully nobody has been stung (yet!) on this trip. We continue to work with the experts in trying to eradicate our home of these pests. It is definitely an experience, checking every floor and corner continuously while Erin is in the room to make sure there are no lurking scorpions.

The last week has been a bit stressful with Erin, as she has returned to her fussy eating habits. We think this is because she is teething, this time on the top. Over a 5 day period, feedings were nothing short of battles that would take up to 15 attempts before Erin would take the bottle. Her normal intake went from mid-30 ounces per day to as low as 20, and it was a big struggle to just get to 20. We were both very stressed over it, but she seems to be back to normal now. Interestingly, other than being overly fussy when trying to eat, she was her normal very happy playful self the entire time.

From a sleeping standpoint, Erin has really come a long way. She understands now that we are not going to come running back the minute she cries, and as a result she rarely cries when going to bed for naps or at night, and if she does, it is literally for a minute or two. We have a camera set up in her room that shows an infrared picture of her for observation purposes. After putting her to bed, she will usually play quietly by herself in her crib until she falls asleep in some of the most uncomfortable looking positions.

Mother's Day was a real highlight. We drove to Champaign to see Sheila's parents. I know it was a thrill for Sheila to spend the day with her mother, and with new new daughter in the home where she grew up. She pulled out her old Barbie dolls to show Erin, who of course promptly gave them the taste test. All in all, it was a perfect day.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Update - April 14, 2009






Lucy...you got some 'splaining to do!


Mad scientist


Here we are, the day before income tax day. I have always wanted a dependent for tax purposes.

Yesterday, Erin had her 9 month NICU follow up. I was unable to go (I actually do work once in awhile) so Sheila took her. Included in this follow up appointment was a psychologist who came in to do extensive testing on Erin's development, both physical as well as intelligence. Erin rated above average in every category but a few, where she rated superior! It was really thrilling to get the blow by blow from Sheila after the appointment. It tells us that the physical therapy that Erin has been doing is working. While she continues to occasionally demonstrate that there is an impact from the stroke, on a day to day basis a casual observer would never notice it. BTW, she weighed in at a hair under 18 pounds! She stands 28 inches.

Her crawling has progressed to the point where she is a little speed demon. She has certain things that she likes to explore, like the open door leading to the stairs that access the garage. If she notices that the door has been left open for a moment, she likes to head over that way and pretend to be interested in something else, only to suddenly make a beeline for the door. I am not sure where she learned the art of deception, but she is pretty good at seeming to be uninterested in the real object of her affection, only to make her move when she thinks she can get away with it. She is occasionally standing without support, and should be walking relatively soon. As a result, the house is being child-proofed today. This involves installing gates at all of the stairways, and includes drilling lots of holes in our woodwork and banisters to support all of the baby-proofing that we need. It is a small price to pay for her safety, though. We will both feel a lot better about knowing she can't get into too much trouble if we take our eyes off of her for a few seconds.

She continues to try and communicate, and is learning new things daily. Her latest trick involves the little cooing sound she makes on occasion. If you repeat it back to her, she immediately repeats it back to you as often as you are willing to play the game. She has an enormously cute wave that Sheila and her parents taught Erin while they were in Scottsdale. It looks like a prom queen wave, and is hysterical. On more than one occasion I have burst into laughter after trudging sleepily to her room to try and put her back to sleep only to find her standing in her crib, waiving at me while showing off a full megawatt smile. She is looking for a playmate at those times. As soon as you put her back down to sleep, she immediately flips over the pops right back up with the same smile on her face.

Her sleeping issues are continuing unfortunately. There have only been a couple of nights in the last month that didn't involve multiple trips to her room. Monday, I gave up after 2:30 and stayed up all night. That was actually an improvement over the preceeding week, where I was up from midnight on. Unfortunately, that was the same day I had a breakfast meeting and then an all-day meeting with my new bosses and then co-workers from Prudential. Luckily, our CFO sat next to me and literally nudged me every time I nodded off in the afternoon to keep me at least looking interested in the program. I don't think my boss was very impressed. Weird using the word "boss." I much preferred being the boss.

The doctor from the NICU follow up thinks that either Erin is again teething, or is possibly having night terrors. Night terrors can affect babies Erin's age, and involve heavy inconsolable crying that can last for an hour. During that time, all you can do is hold them and try to reassure them. Those aren't the most fun nights, but in the morning Erin seems to remember nothing, and always wakes with a huge smile and is very affectionate.

Our daily routine is pretty well set. I hit the gym at 6 and get home around 7:30 which is right when Erin usually wakes. We spend time looking out her window to check on the world, and then wrestle (my term for changing her diaper) before heading upstairs to join Sheila. We spend about a half hour every morning just the three of us hanging out in our bedroom, and they are usually the best moments of the day.

Most amazing is the fact that seemingly overnight Erin has turned into a little girl. Her personality is growing daily, and it is amazing to watch the development from a little blob to a little girl that has opinions, likes and dislikes, and is clearly headstrong.

Erin greatly enjoyed Scottsdale, and we are headed back in May for 10 days. Our goal is to spend quite a bit more time out there, enjoying the new house. Sheila has done a great job in getting the house in order and fully decorated. Our biggest fear there are scorpions, which can be deadly for a baby. We paid to have the house sealed to keep any scorpions out, but there are still scorpions inside from the construction process. Over a few months, the exterminators should be successful in eradicating the little bastards, but for now we have to be very careful. Sheila was stung on the hand, and I was stung on the foot. It is an incredibly painful experience that I don't wish on anyone. The sting feels like a series of needles shoved all the way into your body. The needles feel like they are on fire. Worse, it lasts for a couple of days. Needless to say, I will be very happy when the exterminators have finished their job.

Erin continues to be very social. We had numerous friends over while in Scottsdale, and while I was out of town Sheila would go out for dinner with friends and take Erin. In every instance, Erin was perfectly behaved and enjoyed by everyone.


Friday, March 27, 2009

Update - March 27, 2009

Erin and Grandpa in Scottsdale.

Happiness is a biscotti at lunch.

Erin loves her bath.




Future model in training.




Erin loves back rubs.




It's hard to believe, but Erin turns 9 months tomorrow. On one hand, it seems like just yesterday that she was born. On the other, it is hard to remember what life was life before she was born. It almost seems as if we led a purposeless life up until her birth. That isn't true, but when you consider how important she is, everything else pales.

Erin continues to make remarkable progress. She remains happy virtually 24/7. She is off the Lasix (sp?) medicine, and none of her other medicines have had their dosage increased, in spite of her tripling her weight. Her oxygen sats remain in the mid to upper 80's, sometimes reaching the low 90's. Best of all, she continues to show very few signs of the stroke. The only noticeable sign is that she tends to keep her right hand clenched, although she has no problem using it. She tends to favor her left hand, but will often initiate a movement with her right, and is completely at ease switching to it when we restrain her left hand.

We were concerned that once Erin was able to start crawling and walking, the stroke would make its presence known via weakness in Erin's right leg. She started crawling two weeks ago, as well as pulling herself into a standing position and cruising around while holding onto something, and there is no evidence that she favors her left side. We are very optimistic that walking will not show any right side weakness at all.

The week that Erin started crawling she also got her first two teeth (bottom front). I can attest to the fact that they are sharp little choppers. As for her crawling, it is hysterical to watch her crawl around. It is also challenging, as the minute you put her down she flips over and takes off. It used to be (in the old days, when she was little :-)...) that you could put her down on the bed and let her play with something while you went about doing whatever needed doing. Now, the minute she lands on the bed, she flips over and takes off. In Scottsdale, she is fascinated with the bedposts at the end of the bed, and makes a beeline for those as quickly as she can.

She has learned how to pull herself into a standing position, so every object is a challenge to stand up to. She pulls herself up, and then lets out a squeal of delight over her accomplishment, then looks to see if Sheila or I are watching so that we can share her delight. She then takes whatever she can reach, drops it on the floor, and tries to bend over and pick it up without falling. This is repeated over and over and over. When being held, she delights in grabbing whatever she can and dropping it on the floor, looking expectantly at whomever is holding her if they don't immediately bend over and pick up the object. This is also repeated ad infinitum.

Diaper changing has become far more challenging, as she is far less prone to lay there and far more apt to flip over and try and take off. This has created a few incidents, including one recently where we both had to work to get her new diaper on her. I was the party fastening the diaper while Sheila held her, and apparently I did one very poor job. I took off for the gym only to receive a call later from Sheila that she went into Erin's room to find that she had had a massive poop that was now everywhere in her crib and all over her. I felt a combination of great sympathy for Sheila over what she had to go through, tremendous relief over not being there, and survivor guilt. I slunk back into the house upon my return and tried to be extra nice to Sheila that day. My wife is a saint. Me...not so much.

We were told by Erin's cardiology nurse that around 8 months babies begin to develop a sense of self, that they realize that they are a separate self. This can manifest itself as waking and fussing during the night, perhaps because they wake and are lonely. This has certainly been the case over the last week. Sunday night I was up 6 times with her, including an hour and one-half stint where she wanted to play. I left Scottsdale Monday for work, and Sheila has endured the same routine all week long. Hopefully it will pass quickly.

It has been a very hard week being away from Sheila and Erin. I will head back to Scottsdale today, and take off again on Monday. After spending the following weekend there, we will be returning to Chicago. Erin seems to really like the weather in Arizona (smart kid). It has been a fun three weeks, with the exception of the pains of moving into a new house. How do you accumulate that much junk in nine years, particularly for two childless people? BTW, anyone wanting to buy a wonderful house in Scottsdale, we have one for sale. It has been on the market since January 2008, and finally in February we received an offer - for half-price! The market is horrible. Looks like we will be keeping it for a few years until the market turns around. Anyone need a rental?